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6/24/2025, 4:12:08 PM
>Christmas, did you know I used to love going to the doctor when I was a kid?
>Every time I would go, whether it was for a checkup or when I had a cold, he used to give me candy-- and not one of those little dinky lollipops you eat in like two minutes.
>He had a jar FULL of candy on his desk. Candy buttons, peanut butter cups, sugar stix, chocolate skulls, marshmallow puffs: all the good stuff you'd only get on Halloween.
>When I'd be done my visit, he'd pat my head and let me pick whatever I wanted from the jar. It was a kid's dream!
>But I obviously couldn't just keep going to the doctor just to get candy. I needed a reason to be there. So I realized that, if I happened to get sick or hurt, I would have to go.
>One time it was because I gave myself a nosebleed by shaking my head really, really hard. The next time it was after I "accidentally" cut myself with my dad's razor. Oh, and then there was that summer when I threw myself off the roof and knocked the bone out of my arm. I mean, it kind of hurt but I got a HUGE candy bar from it. One of those king-sized ones with lots of nuts.
>Now, "doctors with medical degrees" will say that I started associating pain with pleasure and this led to me developing certain quote unquote "unhealthy fixations." Sure I like to use licorice ropes as tourniquets when I inject myself with syringes, but that's just the kind of humor any nurse would have!
>Hallow, I hate to interrupt but does this story have a point.
>Oh, yeah. That's why I always keep my big jar of candy out on my desk. It's running low so would you mind floating me a few bones so I can refill it?
>Every time I would go, whether it was for a checkup or when I had a cold, he used to give me candy-- and not one of those little dinky lollipops you eat in like two minutes.
>He had a jar FULL of candy on his desk. Candy buttons, peanut butter cups, sugar stix, chocolate skulls, marshmallow puffs: all the good stuff you'd only get on Halloween.
>When I'd be done my visit, he'd pat my head and let me pick whatever I wanted from the jar. It was a kid's dream!
>But I obviously couldn't just keep going to the doctor just to get candy. I needed a reason to be there. So I realized that, if I happened to get sick or hurt, I would have to go.
>One time it was because I gave myself a nosebleed by shaking my head really, really hard. The next time it was after I "accidentally" cut myself with my dad's razor. Oh, and then there was that summer when I threw myself off the roof and knocked the bone out of my arm. I mean, it kind of hurt but I got a HUGE candy bar from it. One of those king-sized ones with lots of nuts.
>Now, "doctors with medical degrees" will say that I started associating pain with pleasure and this led to me developing certain quote unquote "unhealthy fixations." Sure I like to use licorice ropes as tourniquets when I inject myself with syringes, but that's just the kind of humor any nurse would have!
>Hallow, I hate to interrupt but does this story have a point.
>Oh, yeah. That's why I always keep my big jar of candy out on my desk. It's running low so would you mind floating me a few bones so I can refill it?
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