finally checked into rehab lads

i've been here one day but have been trying to find a place for a couple of weeks

i think i was taking 1/2 oz of k weekly as long as 1oz of weed and like 1/2 oz of shrooms. i think i have spent the last four months hallucinating

luckily i didn't get sectioned

my lead psychiatrist here is quintessentially israeli - i think his name is yiddish for minter of coins - should be an interesting dynamic

it's costing me 12k which is a bit of dent to my finances for sure, i am dead set on making the most of it, but am horribly dejected about whether or not i can move on from this and transcend the social stigma i have garnered

i've already taken about 20 librium pills since last night so am feeling nice and fuzzy

either way it's better than being out there

i can't deal with it. i've been rendered so powerless and voiceless. i think i disappeared for four months and spent the whole time trying to get divine guidance. but everything keeps getting more bleak.

at least i'm clear headed right now but i can't face the world, what it's done to me, where i stand in it

i hope you guys are doing well

all best

blockman x