I don't want a relationship any females, I just want to pay a beautiful woman to lick her armpits. That is literally all it would take to satisfy me, I unironically don't even want sex. If I proposed this idea to the public however, I'd be called a weird ass creep, despite my desires being harmless and risk free while the female profits greatly. What a bizarre world we live in.

What if during an all female 5k race, there was a "pit stop" where women could get the sweat licked out of their armpits while they drink water? Would you volunteer for this type of job?