I’ve been working in a startup for a year and a half. My salary is fucking garbage. Compared to my skills and what I actually do, no one believes it.
But the truth is, the company is honestly perfect for me, except for the salary

But I’m 26. Money fucking matters now
So I’ve been looking for a better job for a while. Today, I got an offer. From a much bigger company. Double the salary. Still not great, but it’s a start. I should be really fucking happy right now, right?

I’m not. Not even close.

Two months ago, a new colleague joined the company. Same team. Her desk is right in front of mine. She’s insanely smart, sharp as hell, and somehow I found someone I could actually be myself around.
Its rare in such a conservative society like here in Egypt to find someone so progressive and open-minded, specially in a town far from the capital.. I told her I don’t believe in Islam. Don’t believe in any religion, actually. And I even shared my anonymous Twitter with her — the one where I post all my anti-religion, anti-regime, borderline illegal shit. Stuff that could get me fucked.

And she was cool with it.

It wasn’t just that though, which is already huge. She became the one person I don’t filter myself around. I feel safe. And yeah, I caught real feelings. I love her. We talk all day, literally 1000+ WhatsApp messages a day, and in person at work, its even better. We vibe so fucking well.

And now I have to fucking leave.

The motherfucker companies are suddenly interested in me. Not only today’s offer, I’m expecting another soon. Everything says go. Logically, I should go.

But my heart is screaming no. I’m in real pain.

Some guy’s gonna be interviewed to replace me. I can’t imagine him sitting at my desk, facing her, talking to her every day. living what I had.

Should I throw away a good opportunity just because I’m too fucking weak to walk away from something Im emotionally attached to?

I should be happy
But all I feel is pain