I have no issue making friends with men or women. My friends describe me as extremely friendly and social. I’m utterly myself all the time, and in conversation I focus on connecting and getting to know people through their interests and stuff. I’ve always felt like (and been told) that I lack the sexual “vibe” that makes people want me. I’m 18yo and not a virgin, but I’ve only had sex twice (admittedly, I didn’t find either of those girls super attractive.) I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve tried dating and talking to many more women than that. They seem attracted to me at first but lose interest after getting to know me. This has left me with a deep seated feeling that perhaps I am unloveable, but not unlikable. I don’t think I let this show in my interactions with people, but I suppose that’s hard to quantify. Girls I’ve slept with or dated describe me as “innocent”, and “cute.”

My best friend is the exact opposite. He has no trouble being naturally flirtatious and sexual with women. We are both creaky good friends with them, but his friendships always seem to have the door open to being FWB, while mine are incredibly platonic. Even when I try to flirt, it feels like I’m just being nice or friendly. I’m not sure if I’m doing it right at all. What do?

Please don’t link me any of those gay self help books. I want a practical guide on what to focus on in my real life interactions with people, I guess. Any questions are welcome.