I've been single for two years, coming to the understanding that I'm passively suicidal for the last 7 or so, I'm in my late 30s and can't hold down a job, and I'm broke. All I want is to go build a cabin somewhere, power it by solar, and just check out of society. Everything makes me more miserable. Especially because I'm a white Canadian.
The older I get, the more certain it feels that eventually, I'm going to lose the battle against depression and find some way to kill myself.