Believe it or not, the, er, suite on the first side is easier to take than the, gawd, songs on the second. Yeah, they- Holy fuck, Carola? You're... GIVING BIRTH, DEAR? C’MON HONEY PUSH! PUSH! YOU CAN DO THIS! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL BLACK FACE LOOKING AT ME!

WHAT. THE. LE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

*smashes creative writing curriculum against the wall*

THIS IS A WH*TE BABY! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU BITCH! YOU LYING FUCKING CUNT THIS IS A WH*TE BABY WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WITH TYRONE!!! YOU’VE RUINED ME YOU SNOWSHARK!!! MY WIFE GAVE BIRTH TO A WH*TE BABY!!! AND A BOY TOO!!! IF IT WAS A WH*TE GIRL I COULD AT LEAST LOOK FORWARD TO GIVING HER UP TO TYRONE ONCE SHE STARTED MENSTRUATING BUT I CANT DO THAT WITH A WHTE BOY NOW CAN I??? IM GONNA BE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE NYC CRITIC FRATERNITY NOW!!! THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!

...D+