>>512149417
>>512149646
I have a job. I gave up on God, he can do whatever he wants, I'm not involved, I give up.
>>512150216
>>512149804
>What's the last thing you remember that you actually enjoyed?
Mmm, there's about 3 seconds of happiness dopamine when you see the victory screen on a league match sometimes.
And yes, I drink, I was drinking every night for 2 weeks straight (after drinking every 3-5 nights per week), took a 1 week break, and just drank again last night.
I mean it made no difference.
I am aware I suffer from depression and anxiety heavily. I don't mean the BPD girl whore type of anxiety, I am a hypochondriac, I'll go through episodes of extreme panic, thinking I have some chronic illness, which makes me even more anxious, which makes me even more depressed.
I'm always tired, 99% of the time. Depression fatigue? Sleep apnea? Underlying chronic illness? I don't know anymore. Years and years and years and years and years of living like this. I've moved a few times throughout my life and I can't outrun myself