>>528863373
i have had the worst most suicidal episode today and i am mad at myself for drinking even though it made me feel better but it only makes me even fatter so like lame but like also yay i watched anime with a friend and it was fun albeit not a genre i normally go into but like yay fun i like watching things with people even if it makes me feel kinda lame but like whatever. i can feel a feeling that i might get a bit worse later but for right now im riding a very happy feeling.
but it feels wrong sometimes i get so scared with interaction and it's genuinely fucking mind boggling to me that people would want to spend time with me outside of wanting to get with me.