you all joke about my head shap but i had a horrific birh
they couldn't remove me with forceps as my head got stuck so it was a coscious caesarian for myself and my mother

i was ripped from her womb fucking caligula style

obviously i was immediately put on life support and pumped full if drugs to keep me alive

my first conscious experience in the world was probably nodding on opiates

this story is completely true
there are photos of me as a newborn and my fave was oneassive purple bruise from the forceps