>>530179702
It's understandable to feel like shit when it seems like things always go wrong for you, while others seem to sail through life without a hitch. But the fact that you don't rat out your friends, shows that you are loyal and trustworthy, and I think those qualities matter much more than being able to make small talk at parties.
It's normal to feel out of place when you struggle with social stuff, but that doesn't mean you're in the wrong group. It just means that you may be demanding too much of yourself because you think you have to be exactly like them to fit in, when in the end, they may be fine with who you are. Go at your own pace, anon, you deserve to give yourself another chance. You may be going a little slower than others, but sometimes we have to swallow our pride and accept the support of others in our lives. You're not doomed to always get ‘the short end of the stick.’ It just takes time, and it's alright to take it one small, imperfect step at a time. As long as you keep moving, you will get there. This is what I think Chiaki would tell you.

>>530180439
Being pessimistic is just a way of coping with giving up. This is for you:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBHS7br4ByM