I swear to God, if I have to watch Elly De La Cruz strike out on another slider in the other batter’s box, I’m gonna eat my hat. This dude is a walking highlight reel when he actually makes contact — but holy hell, can he try that sometime? Every at-bat is just a three-pitch masterclass in how to swing at everything BUT a strike. Low and away? Yup. Eye level? Sure. Behind his back? Why not. He’s like a damn windmill out there half the time. And don’t come at me with his ‘potential,’ I’ve been hearing about his potential since he got called up. Yeah, he’s fast. Cool. He can throw hard. Neat. None of that means jack if he’s striking out four times a night and killing every rally we get going. I’m sick of it. The guy looks lost at the plate half the time, flailing at pitches like he’s blindfolded at a kids’ birthday party. Maybe stop trying to hit every ball 600 feet and actually… I don’t know… make contact? Shorten up? Pretend like you’ve heard of a two-strike approach? Every game he’s either a superhero or an automatic out and I’m tired of flipping the coin. Figure it out, Elly. You’re too good to keep being this damn frustrating.