I think I'm getting somewhere, though I couldn't find how to do a weighted random choice in the prompt so I did a little hack. It performs good enough in v3 with the amount of info it gets.

The current card's at https://files.catbox.moe/i8hj4x.png but I think it needs more work. At least making it more pony besides just having Pinkie and some more world building.
I would appreciate any logs/reviews/suggestions/insults.