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6/11/2025, 2:55:13 PM
>>95845849
"CAPTAIN PLEASE! I DIDN'T SPEND ALL THOSE YEARS IN CAMBRIDGE JUST TO SEE THE COMMUNITY I'M ASSIGNED TO SAVE DIE FROM PURE SUPERSITION!!" sobbed the junior engineer. Oh, ye of little faith. Even as the storm rolled onwards and her cries grew all the more desperate, it must have seemed to her like I truly had gone mad.
Until suddenly, the storm imploded with a great rush of air, and in it's place was a cute pale girl in a kimono. "The compact is sealed" she said. All around us, spring was breaking out and sunlight was piercing the clouds anew.
"What" said the junior engineer.
"I have successfully bound the storm as my familiar. I shall now harness it's power to protect other settlements from the bizarre string of coincidences bombarding this world. You know, normally I like to solve problems with science but the sheer inefficiency of your local setup made me resort to shamanism just, just because it's so much faster. You're welcome"
She stared at the glacial ice-pale eyes of my new familiar. "...d-don't tell me that's...the storm..."
"Fine. I won't. I'm just going to tell you what I'm going to tell the others: The energy expenditure of that central heating device is ridiculous, and they should convert it into a sauna instead"
And I went back and wove some ancient Finnish magic into the steam, steel and water of the settlement, before running a seminar on interior climate control design. In a few days, my settlement was converted from a desperate bulwark against the frost to a cheery holiday sauna town once the other villages realised that the yuki-onna totems I started mass producing were mystically aligning human civilisation with the snow itself, and subtly altering the climate to be-while still overall wintry-suitable for civilisation advancement.
The Tesla forcefields were pretty cool, though. Later I tapped into geothermal energy to supercharge one into an anti-meteor bubble.
"CAPTAIN PLEASE! I DIDN'T SPEND ALL THOSE YEARS IN CAMBRIDGE JUST TO SEE THE COMMUNITY I'M ASSIGNED TO SAVE DIE FROM PURE SUPERSITION!!" sobbed the junior engineer. Oh, ye of little faith. Even as the storm rolled onwards and her cries grew all the more desperate, it must have seemed to her like I truly had gone mad.
Until suddenly, the storm imploded with a great rush of air, and in it's place was a cute pale girl in a kimono. "The compact is sealed" she said. All around us, spring was breaking out and sunlight was piercing the clouds anew.
"What" said the junior engineer.
"I have successfully bound the storm as my familiar. I shall now harness it's power to protect other settlements from the bizarre string of coincidences bombarding this world. You know, normally I like to solve problems with science but the sheer inefficiency of your local setup made me resort to shamanism just, just because it's so much faster. You're welcome"
She stared at the glacial ice-pale eyes of my new familiar. "...d-don't tell me that's...the storm..."
"Fine. I won't. I'm just going to tell you what I'm going to tell the others: The energy expenditure of that central heating device is ridiculous, and they should convert it into a sauna instead"
And I went back and wove some ancient Finnish magic into the steam, steel and water of the settlement, before running a seminar on interior climate control design. In a few days, my settlement was converted from a desperate bulwark against the frost to a cheery holiday sauna town once the other villages realised that the yuki-onna totems I started mass producing were mystically aligning human civilisation with the snow itself, and subtly altering the climate to be-while still overall wintry-suitable for civilisation advancement.
The Tesla forcefields were pretty cool, though. Later I tapped into geothermal energy to supercharge one into an anti-meteor bubble.
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