I feel like I’ve wasted 15 years of my life, and my career has led me nowhere. At 35, I should be at my peak in terms of earnings and health, yet I’m a nobody. I keep ending up in shitty companies where I’m expected to do everything while getting paid less than gate keeper. For the past 10 years, I’ve designed websites, logos, mobile apps, print materials, books, t-shirt prints, labels, packaging, product photography, social media content, 3D designs, modeling, animation, and simulations. If I had focused on one thing from the start, I’d be an expert in a specific field by now and making decent money. Unfortunately, the harsh truth is this: if you are able to do anything that means you are good at nothing. When there are job listings for simple graphic work, they don’t want someone with 5+ years of experience. If they do want someone with 5 years of experience, they expect an expert in one particular niche. Today, no one even wants to spit in my direction. No one is looking for a 35-year-old guy who has done everything (but nothing specific) because they have 100 young, dynamic grads fresh out of college to choose from. The competition in the big city is just too strong. For the past 5 years, I’ve been working from home part-time, and somehow manage to pay the rent. The MS diagnosis broke me. Depression, no friends, far from family, always making excuses. If it weren’t for my wife earning well and help from my in-laws, I’d have nothing. It feels like everyone around me is doing fine, earning well, and building great careers - except me. I’m feeling down, I’m sick of this fucking city and its weather. I just needed to get this off my chest.