"So I moved into this gorilla nest, right? Yeah, real cozy—if you're into branches up your ass and the soothing sound of chest-beating rage at 3 a.m. It’s like camping... if camping involved a 400-pound roommate who flings poop when he’s mad you ate the last banana.

And they don’t have doors—nah, just vines. Vines! You ever try to close a vine like a door? You can't. There’s no privacy! I’m sitting there trying to take a crap, and this silverback’s just STARING at me like I’m the weirdo. Like, 'Oh, I’m the freak here?! You’re the one sniffing my foot while I read a leaf, bro!'”