Jackie Chiles bursts in, leather briefcase in hand, pointing a legal pad like a sword.

JACKIE CHILES
(booming)
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tort! A digital-age travesty! Kramer, my friend, this Emacs debacle is outrageous, preposterous, insidious!

JERRY
Jackie, you’re suing over a text editor?

JACKIE CHILES
(leans in)
Not just any editor, Jerry! This Emacs—this behemoth—requires users to press the CONTROL key four thousand times a day! It’s a pinky death trap! And the creator, this "RMS" Stallman character? He knew!

KRAMER
(nodding feverishly)
He’s an anarchist, Jerry! A free-software radical! No warnings, no support hotline—just a manifesto and a 500-key shortcut list! My pinky’s a casualty of his ideology!

GEORGE
(squinting)
Can you even sue for that? It’s free software!

JACKIE CHILES
(wagging finger)
Ah-ha! "Free" doesn’t mean "immune to liability"! If I give you a "free" piranha and it eats your toe, that’s negligence! Emacs is a digital piranha, and it’s nibbling on Kramer’s metacarpals!

KRAMER
(ignoring them, flexing his pinky)
I can’t even hitchhike anymore, Jackie! The thumb’s fine, but the pinky? It’s my signature finger!

Newman slinks over.

NEWMAN
(smug)
Heard about the lawsuit, Kramer. I’ve been using Vim for years. Superior efficiency. No pinky strain.

KRAMER
(outraged)
Vim? That’s like trading a tank for a tricycle! Emacs is the Cadillac of text editors!