<All squads report to my office immediately>

Thank you for your speedy arrival.
It has come to my attention that due to budget cuts, we can no longer afford to run the baths, nor can we do laundry.

It is with great sorrow that i humbly request for you to refrain from cleaning yourselves for the next 3 weeks, due to these circumstances. The heat wave has not let down either, so i encourage you all to take precautions to stay cool and hydrate, or else the stench for ferment. I know this will be a major inconvenience to all of you, but i know we can power through this together.