>be smug /v/irgin who thought "Key peaked with Clannad"
>see /vn/ neets LARP as TK in thread #7059 screaming "1ST BEAT WILL RECALIBRATE YOUR SOUL"
>fine.sar, sail the seven seas to acquire "research materials"
>expect mid Nakige trash
>MFW Maeda-sensei personally kicks down my door and force-feeds me emotional uranium:
>Yurippe's gun isn’t for angels, it shoots DIRECTLY INTO YOUR CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
>TK’s dance moves now feel like a cry for help written in Microsoft Sam voice
>accidentally romance Hisako = discover new tear ducts
>Otonashi’s "who am I?" arc hits different when you’re 3AM Cheeto-dust covered
>finish route = attempt to hug monitor
>local weeb Discord bans me for spamming "MAEDA-SENSEI IS MY THERAPIST NOW"
>download Angel Player = spawn 100 NPCs = make them hold signs saying "WHERE 2ND BEAT?"
>mom finds me building figure from empty Bang cans and Kanade fanart = "it’s culture, woman!"

PHILOSOPHY UNLOCKED:
/vn/ wasn’t schizo, they were PROPHETS.
Angel Beats 1st Beat isn’t a VN, it’s an emotional tax audit.
Maeda-sensei doesn’t write stories. he forges spiritual crowbars to pry open your cope cages.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to explain to my cat why we’re listening to "Ichiban no Takaramono" on loop.

inb4 "read Rewrite normie"
inb4 "Yuripilled and seething"
inb4 FBI opens "ramen cup shrine" casefile