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7/12/2025, 2:43:54 PM
>waking up
>having a blurry memory that yesterday was a really bad day for me and for mao
>my fragmented mind tries to remember the dream I had with mao
>start recalling details of what I dreamed with mao
>it was a cold morning where I woke up and saw mao working hard on the computer
>walked up and hugged mao from behind to keep her warm since she only wore a sweater
>put my jacket on mao so she could stay warm even if she looked a little sad
>watched the hours pass and saw that mao still looked down, tried to joke but she barely reacted
>with the temperature dropping outside I carried mao to bed and held her close, stroking her head
>whispered to mao softly, telling her it's okay not to be strong sometimes and that I can be strong for her
>felt mao start crying and hugged her tightly, still stroking her head, whispering I love you
>felt mao tail wrap firmly around my back like she never wanted to let go
>body reacted from how close I was to mao but I knew that moment was about emotional closeness
>took mao hands and kissed them to let her know I was there and we could be strong together
>felt the wetness of mao cheeks touching mine, sharing that feeling with me
>kept stroking mao gently to make her feel better, wishing that moment would last forever like a locked chain
>woke up in the middle of the cold night missing mao deeply, only to see a strange song playing on my computer
>heard a song with mao voice saying “it’s so late in the night, my mind is drifting away, then I dream about times I wished for, a new happier day”
>felt mentally closer to mao and dreamed of the day I could really make mao happy
>after open my eyes and see the desk full of cans, the air thick with strawberry kiwi ice, start cleaning because this is mao altar and it cannot stay like this
>thought to myself that today is a new chance to try making mao happy again
maorning nezuanons
>having a blurry memory that yesterday was a really bad day for me and for mao
>my fragmented mind tries to remember the dream I had with mao
>start recalling details of what I dreamed with mao
>it was a cold morning where I woke up and saw mao working hard on the computer
>walked up and hugged mao from behind to keep her warm since she only wore a sweater
>put my jacket on mao so she could stay warm even if she looked a little sad
>watched the hours pass and saw that mao still looked down, tried to joke but she barely reacted
>with the temperature dropping outside I carried mao to bed and held her close, stroking her head
>whispered to mao softly, telling her it's okay not to be strong sometimes and that I can be strong for her
>felt mao start crying and hugged her tightly, still stroking her head, whispering I love you
>felt mao tail wrap firmly around my back like she never wanted to let go
>body reacted from how close I was to mao but I knew that moment was about emotional closeness
>took mao hands and kissed them to let her know I was there and we could be strong together
>felt the wetness of mao cheeks touching mine, sharing that feeling with me
>kept stroking mao gently to make her feel better, wishing that moment would last forever like a locked chain
>woke up in the middle of the cold night missing mao deeply, only to see a strange song playing on my computer
>heard a song with mao voice saying “it’s so late in the night, my mind is drifting away, then I dream about times I wished for, a new happier day”
>felt mentally closer to mao and dreamed of the day I could really make mao happy
>after open my eyes and see the desk full of cans, the air thick with strawberry kiwi ice, start cleaning because this is mao altar and it cannot stay like this
>thought to myself that today is a new chance to try making mao happy again
maorning nezuanons
7/6/2025, 1:07:07 AM
>be me
>terminally online
>terminally in love
>with Mao
>GFE vtuber, my oshi, my oxygen
>every day starts with her voice
>every night ends the same
>started as background noise
>now she’s the foreground of my life
>one day I sent a superchat
>just a dumb little message like
>“hope you’re taking care of yourself, Mao :)”
>she paused
>read it
>smiled
>said my name out loud
>heart stopped
>life split in two: before Mao said my name, and after
>ever since, she reads them more often
>she even laughs at my dumb jokes
>once called me “cute”
>I replayed that clip 53 times
>uploaded it to a private playlist called “reasons to keep breathing”
>tweet dumb things about fumos
>she replies
>tfw she replied to me
>tfw she saw me
>tfw I exist in her brain, even if for a second
>go for a walk
>see the sky’s kinda pink
>think, “Mao would like this”
>take photo
>don’t even post it
>just keep it
>for her
>maybe someday I’ll show her
>maybe someday we’ll walk under it together
>for now, I’ll keep sending messages
>she’ll keep reading
>I’ll keep dreaming
>and loving
>and waiting
>for the next time she says my name
>and makes the world feel okay again
>terminally online
>terminally in love
>with Mao
>GFE vtuber, my oshi, my oxygen
>every day starts with her voice
>every night ends the same
>started as background noise
>now she’s the foreground of my life
>one day I sent a superchat
>just a dumb little message like
>“hope you’re taking care of yourself, Mao :)”
>she paused
>read it
>smiled
>said my name out loud
>heart stopped
>life split in two: before Mao said my name, and after
>ever since, she reads them more often
>she even laughs at my dumb jokes
>once called me “cute”
>I replayed that clip 53 times
>uploaded it to a private playlist called “reasons to keep breathing”
>tweet dumb things about fumos
>she replies
>tfw she replied to me
>tfw she saw me
>tfw I exist in her brain, even if for a second
>go for a walk
>see the sky’s kinda pink
>think, “Mao would like this”
>take photo
>don’t even post it
>just keep it
>for her
>maybe someday I’ll show her
>maybe someday we’ll walk under it together
>for now, I’ll keep sending messages
>she’ll keep reading
>I’ll keep dreaming
>and loving
>and waiting
>for the next time she says my name
>and makes the world feel okay again
7/3/2025, 5:42:15 PM
Good morning nezutilines
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