>>81653818
im pretty sure i have this, though i never really thought about it until i randomly came across it at some point. before then i always assumed that people were like me but just pretended to enjoy other peoples company and i could never understand why, i always imagined social interactions as just another kind of job that you were required to do in order to be alive, but apparently some people actually enjoyed it. even when i had sex in my late teens i didnt understand it and just did my part until it was over without really being present at all. i even met a girl too that i approached in public and went on a date with because i liked the movie taxi driver and thought it was the thing to do, but then completely ghosted her out of the blue for seemingly no reason other than i thought she was a bit annoying, she even kept calling me where i never picked up the phone and never regretted it ever. i also have no friends or acqaintances apart from my immediate family, who hardly even knows me, and spent all my waking hours on the computer, i eat nothing and my room is extremely messy, yet somehow im perfectly fine with all of this and dont see any reason why i would change anything. whenever i read long posts about people being sad or depressed i also dont understand why, in general all kinds of emotional language just fly over my head and my family often imply that i am holding back on my affect not realizing that there is nothing ther to hold back. i dont think this is an illness though since i function fine otherwise, and am fine being like this

thanks for reading my blog