>>715403024
>What am I supposed to do now, as someone who was just starting to get my shit together
>>715403681
>I fucking hate him
No you don't. Grow up.

Take care of your father or don't.
Find your angle in life or don't.
Maybe he gets better. Maybe he continues to cope by avoiding things. Maybe you get cancer tomorrow.
Is what it is.
None of your situation is his fault -- other than you being fed, educated, and well off enough to post here in complete sentences.

Just start being a man and making decisions instead of reacting and acting like everything is happening to you.
It's not.
You're deciding.

I guarantee your father will respect your opinions more and might actually listen if you just do whatever the fuck it is you gotta do, and let him do whatever the fuck it is he's gotta do, instead of being a little bitch and trying to dictate his life to him.
The only reason he hasn't told you to go fuck yourself is because he loves you.
Also an hero is the ultimate expression of being a little cunt. Don't do that to the people around you, even if you hate yourself, it's not you that pays the price.
Just be you, whatever the fuck that means. Go to school, make pan flutes, write a novel, just fucking do something with your silly fucking existence instead of trying to define your own life by someone else's.

Then die well and let your father do the same.