How the FUCK are people having so much SEX??? This is all much to alien for me, its like everyone is on a different planet than me. Everyone talks about fucking women sex and girls like its NOTHING. Wtf?

Dear diary,

Today I scared away another guy on discord.com. I am intensely horny, lonely and crave intimacy so much. I want to love another broken person. I love men so much but they hate me s o much. I try so hard to connect and understand and love them but none of them want me or say something so incredibly offputting even I can't look past it. Oh, to be seen and see. I want a man to lay on top of me with all of his weight. He will feel like he is suffocating or harming me but he can't (because even if he is, I want this). I want him to enter me and we are one. The fact of the matter is, I can't live a fulfilling life without a good man to love in it.