A few facts about Jesus

1. Jesus was a pedophile (wanted to rape a little boy in the garden)
2. Jesus was gay (had sex with his apostles, especially with the apostle John)
3. Jesus' mother was a young stupid whore who married an 80-year-old pedophile from Nazareth
4. Jesus' mother cheated on her pedophile carpenter husband with another 62-year-old Roman pedophile named Pender
5. As a result of these unholy unions, Jesus was conceived.
6. Jesus's crazy mother convinced him of his divine chosenness from a young age.