I would like to discuss: I recently realized I don't believe in a singular being called "God". Jesus in the apocrypha says god is non-existence. I have a hard time with that and I don't like the old testament or Judaism in general also. So I thought what if the spirituality that Hinduism contains, is true? Not Hinduism itself, with all those gods, strange rituals, but the spiritual truths contained within certain Hindu sacred texts such as the upanishads and the agamas? Is it possible that the first humans practiced this kind of thing, before humanity fell to paganism and animism and all that stuff? Long, long before. The other option I have in mind is, is the Islamic namaz ritual, the movements, and so on, did the first people on earth actually worship in the Islamic way? I don't mean did they say the exact words but did they perhaps do the same movements? These are important topics for me personally. I feel interested in your thoughts on this.

After deep contemplation I have come to the conclusion that whatever Jesus really taught is the real complete truth, and it's not the bible and not the gnostic apocrypha although both may contain remnants of the real teaching. If we sift through the gnostic apocrypha we can see that the real Jesus believed in a god alien to Judaism. A unitary, supreme spirit. He believed in unity with that god and he taught those that wanted to listen how to get there. Here is an excerpt from gnostic apocrypha that might be the closest thing to this true teaching I am talking about:
The one rules all. Nothing has authority over it. It is the God. It is Father of everything, holy one, the invisible one over everything. It is uncontaminated, pure light no eye can bear to look within. The one is the invisible spirit. It is not right to think of it as a god, or as like god. It is more than just God.

I have deeply thought about religion and spirituality the last couple of days. I came to the conclusion that whatever Jesus really taught is the truth, and he is to be regarded as a mystic who preached mysticism from a non-jewish perspective. True mysticism, unity with the one true godhead. He followed Jewish rituals and customs but wasn't a believer in the religion. He taught unity with the one true godhead of which he revealed secrets to all who listened to him. The new testament is an invention, as are the gnostic gospels. There is no trinity, nor is there a mother-father spirit called barbelo (a name taken from ancient pagan Egyptian religion) or anything of the sort. The truth of Jesus' life and teachings are now lost to time, but whatever it was, it was and is the truth. Hinduism comes closest from what I've read to that truth and that's why I read extensively on it. The psalms are also a good and important read for anyone who desires to know god. Knowing god is the goal. It can be done through asceticism, which I believe Jesus taught, and frequent prayer to god. Meditation I believe can be a door to god, but I do not believe Jesus stressed it and possibly never practiced it. However due to its usefulness I believe in it and practice it daily. Your thoughts on this matter would be appreciated. Thanks.