Search Results
6/15/2025, 12:02:44 AM
>Ernest wakes up to a runny nose. So much snot is pouring out of his nostrils and on his face, its sticking his clothes and hands to things and gluing themselves to his body as he's trying to just get out of bed.
>"Gee Rimshot, this ain't like any cold I've ever had before."
>Ernest turns on the tv and hears that a virus has broken out from China. Snap cut to Ernest now dressed as a bald Buddhist monk with slant eyes mimicking a Chinese accent and looking to seek out a cure using Far East medicine techniques. It ends up in Ernest inadvertently making a large firecracker that explodes inside his house.
>Ernest now blown up and burnt to a crisp goes outside for air only to find the streets are deserted. Vern ain't even opening his door for him to talk to. A police officer comes by in a mask to order him to go back inside and not leave until he wears a mask and uses hand sanitizer. Ernest then gets an idea, he finds a truck full of isopropyl alcohol and another filled with gelatin and he turns his backyard pool into a giant hand sanitzer. He goes for a swim but nearly drowns when the "water" is too thick.
>Ernest needs to go shopping so he puts on a knights helmet and heads for Wal-Mart. Because he can't see, he can't follow the directions on the floor and stay in his lane or maintain social distancing. People keep telling Ernest to fuck off and stay 10 feet away from them. Ernest can't understand what's going on in the world, let along follow social distancing rules, so he buys a broomstick and jerry rigs it to have working digits so he can use his credit card on the ATM and buy his products at the till from a distance like he was asked to. Hilarity ensues as Ernest repeatedly hits the till wagie in the head several times just trying to bag his purchases.
>"Gee Rimshot, this ain't like any cold I've ever had before."
>Ernest turns on the tv and hears that a virus has broken out from China. Snap cut to Ernest now dressed as a bald Buddhist monk with slant eyes mimicking a Chinese accent and looking to seek out a cure using Far East medicine techniques. It ends up in Ernest inadvertently making a large firecracker that explodes inside his house.
>Ernest now blown up and burnt to a crisp goes outside for air only to find the streets are deserted. Vern ain't even opening his door for him to talk to. A police officer comes by in a mask to order him to go back inside and not leave until he wears a mask and uses hand sanitizer. Ernest then gets an idea, he finds a truck full of isopropyl alcohol and another filled with gelatin and he turns his backyard pool into a giant hand sanitzer. He goes for a swim but nearly drowns when the "water" is too thick.
>Ernest needs to go shopping so he puts on a knights helmet and heads for Wal-Mart. Because he can't see, he can't follow the directions on the floor and stay in his lane or maintain social distancing. People keep telling Ernest to fuck off and stay 10 feet away from them. Ernest can't understand what's going on in the world, let along follow social distancing rules, so he buys a broomstick and jerry rigs it to have working digits so he can use his credit card on the ATM and buy his products at the till from a distance like he was asked to. Hilarity ensues as Ernest repeatedly hits the till wagie in the head several times just trying to bag his purchases.
Page 1