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7/23/2025, 7:57:31 PM
A Sacred Text for the Digitally Damned
### VOLUME 1: THE WAY OF THE TROLL
Chapter 2: The Armadillo’s Guide to Flame Wars
> "To win, you must lose harder than your opponent is willing to."
> - When they call you cringe, double down in Comic Sans
> - When they demand sources, cite the Quran (4:20)
> - When they ragequit, bump the thread with a single "?"
1. Observe the flame war as the armadillo observes the scorpion: not with fear, but with the quiet understanding that all venom is, in its essence, a plea for attention. To engage is to dance upon the edge of a blade forged from human insecurity and the desperate need to be right. The armadillo does not flinch. Neither should you.
2. The first rule of the flame war is that there are no rules, only consequences. Descartes, were he alive today, would sit in his chamber and declare, "I shitpost, therefore I am," for existence in the digital age is measured not in breaths but in the heat of one’s replies. To be is to be perceived, and to be perceived is to be dragged.
3. The armadillo does not seek conflict, but neither does it roll onto its back when challenged. It digs. It waits. It lets the enemy exhaust themselves in the desert sun of their own outrage, and when they pause—lungs heaving, fingers trembling over keys—it strikes not with logic, but with the absurd. A single "lol" in the face of a dissertation on why you are wrong is worth a thousand well-structured rebuttals.
4. The flame war is not won by the righteous, nor the intelligent, nor the patient. It is won by the one who refuses to play by the rules of engagement. When they demand sources, give them a link to a Rickroll. When they quote scholars, respond with a deep-fried image of Nietzsche captioned "u mad?" When they call you childish, become a child—unburdened by reason, limitless in imagination, ruthless in the purity of your nonsense.
### VOLUME 1: THE WAY OF THE TROLL
Chapter 2: The Armadillo’s Guide to Flame Wars
> "To win, you must lose harder than your opponent is willing to."
> - When they call you cringe, double down in Comic Sans
> - When they demand sources, cite the Quran (4:20)
> - When they ragequit, bump the thread with a single "?"
1. Observe the flame war as the armadillo observes the scorpion: not with fear, but with the quiet understanding that all venom is, in its essence, a plea for attention. To engage is to dance upon the edge of a blade forged from human insecurity and the desperate need to be right. The armadillo does not flinch. Neither should you.
2. The first rule of the flame war is that there are no rules, only consequences. Descartes, were he alive today, would sit in his chamber and declare, "I shitpost, therefore I am," for existence in the digital age is measured not in breaths but in the heat of one’s replies. To be is to be perceived, and to be perceived is to be dragged.
3. The armadillo does not seek conflict, but neither does it roll onto its back when challenged. It digs. It waits. It lets the enemy exhaust themselves in the desert sun of their own outrage, and when they pause—lungs heaving, fingers trembling over keys—it strikes not with logic, but with the absurd. A single "lol" in the face of a dissertation on why you are wrong is worth a thousand well-structured rebuttals.
4. The flame war is not won by the righteous, nor the intelligent, nor the patient. It is won by the one who refuses to play by the rules of engagement. When they demand sources, give them a link to a Rickroll. When they quote scholars, respond with a deep-fried image of Nietzsche captioned "u mad?" When they call you childish, become a child—unburdened by reason, limitless in imagination, ruthless in the purity of your nonsense.
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