Why am I thinking so much, and I'm so influenced by this idea that it shows up in my dreams with in graphic detail and uncomfortable proximiy?
It's not fair... It's everything I hate.
I only entertain these ideas in 2D fiction, it's super not fair to experience them in real life with my real self and with real others. It's... sighs.
I should let go of it, I don't want the memory to cement harder than it already did.
I want to have a positive experience and influence... but it's much harder to experience than wilfully imagine. Although, it's evidently hard to even dream about.