Wanting to be a martyr = asking God for Absolutely Nothing. "God is my Shephard, I shall NOT want" is your vow, Psalm 23. You will be left with sackcloth and ashes on your head on a silence vow with no 5th haven/heaven(throat chakra) being active.
You will piss off the Spirits of Abundance and even more piss of God of Avarice. You will regret this choice.
"God wants you to have and to have abundantly"... "multiply upon your increase"...?

This will be your lot, carpenter. (excuse the pun)