Herro to all my fans! It is me, Hideo Kojima! I'm glad you're all riking my new game, and I wanted to share a new character i came up with who will be added soon as DLC!
His name is Fart Shitman. He's a delivery man who's body is a giant piece of shit for reasons I will never explain (so don't ask.) His pupils are also piles of shit which block his vision, because he "can't see shit," and his ears are very, very small because he "can't hear shit." He is completely disabled and must drive around on a set of wheels, because he "can't do shit." He is, perhaps, the greatest character I've ever created. In the DLC, he will call you on the phone so he can "talk shit" to you, the player.
Well? Do you rike it?