Continuation of >>40223881

I have cleaning supplies at the ready and a razor blade. I've been trying to I guess lessen the anticipation by scratching the surface of my skin with the sharp end of a metal nail filer and no matter how much I try and prepare myself I am just too fucking scared to try and breach the skin. I'm not moving until I do, I want to do it but I cant without bitching out. How do you overcome the fear of hurting yourself? I want to feel it, I've been hiding from my problems and refusing to get better for so long and I hate that I can do it consequence free. And also any guides for how to do it safely and consistently would be nice, having a method would make me feel more secure I think.

Don't fucking come in here to tell me its le bad, I want useful info.