I drank all the cum

>>936534323
the small ones will never know our struggles brother...
A 2 hour limit on an """all you can eat""" buffet is hardly enough time to enjoy the cuisine. 4 hours is the sweet spot. I can usually get to my limit comfortably with 4 hours. Anything over is great, but I only have 1 buffet in town that lets me eat there for more than 4 hours. If I go when it isn't too crowded, I can eat quickly, then take a power nap, and then return to my consumption. The staff don't seem to mind, or they just don't notice me in the booth...

Some pro tips from a hefty brother;
Skip the seafood - should be a no-brainer (Red Lobster gave me diarrhea so bad the doctor thought it was Ebola)
Pizza is great - people say "Oh bUt YoU woN'T bEaT tHe BuFfeT iF yOu eaT PiZzA!!1!" but we aren't trying to beat the buffet. We wish to live in harmony (so they don't kick us out)
Beware fried anythings - they can clog you up even if they are tasty...
NEVER get a salad - We don't want to give the impression that we want salad (it takes up spots where dessert could be)
Get 2 drinks if you can - less walking to the fountain = more eating
Try to bring an acquaintance if possible - they can be your lackey and fetch you more food
If you go to a Chinese buffet, always say "Konnichiwa" when you leave - it's funny hehe
Always go to the bathroom before going to the buffet - NEVER waste your precious time on the John (personally, I'd also recommend wearing a diaper, but that may be too hardcore for some)

tummy