>Learn about loa years back
>Apply the positive thinking side of things to my life, things seem to get better.
>Learn more about it, do the ladder experiment.
>Sure as fuck, find myself climbing a ladder after accidentally locking myself out my apartment.
>Learn more, manifest my sp back into my life and start a relationship.
>"Damn there's definately something going on here"
>Learn more.
>Start establishing a sense of dissonance with life.
>Begin questioning reality.
>Begin questioning what I am.
>Ignore it, keep being positive.
>A strong, gnawing fear envelops me months back.
>My usual affirmations are intrusively replaced with awful thoughts of death and feelings of entrapment.
>Hasn't let me go.

What is going on with me? Am i inadvertently giving myself a mental illness, or is there more to this feeling? I feel like my nerves are bracing me for something huge and unavoidable.
It's scary.