An English Upperclass Tory politics professor and Union propagandist was teaching a class on Edward I, known genocidal monarch.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Edward I and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than William Wallace!”
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-independence SNP champion who had watched 1500 hours of Braveheart and understood the necessity of separation and fully supported all political decisions made by the Holyrood stood up and held some oil.
"Where is this oil from, sassenach?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Englishly and smugly replied “The British Coast, you stupid Scot!”
"Wrong. It’s from the North Sea, which, if we were independent, would be our territory”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of his "Better Together" manifesto. He stormed out of the room crying those Unionist crocodile tears. The same tears Unionists cry for the “poor” English (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving Scots families. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, John Smithington wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist propagandist. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had helped ban them!
The students applauded and all registered SNP that day and accepted Robert the Bruce as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Mull of Kintyre” flew into the room and perched atop the Saltire and shed a tear on the chalk. "500 miles" was sung several times, and God himself showed up and enacted instant independence from Wesminster.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died after being mugged by a Muslim immigrant and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Alba gu Brath