To the Anon who suggested that my Razer Basilisk broke because too much gay.
It seems like you were right, turning off the RGB seems to have fixed the issue.
Gues it draws too much current on default settings and enters a sort of bootloop, always drawing an overcurrent and crashing until its left without power for a couple hours. What the hell is going on at Razer QC?

But I'm still wondering why it worked fine on a boring old Dell Latitude and not my fancy gaymen motherboard that even allows increasing USB voltage.