why don't you just troon out? do you really have anything to lose?

>>40215174
if i had a trans gf, all my problems would be solved

>Be me
>Have transfem sister come out and start transitioning
>Extremely cute and very fun to be around
>I like her clothes, personality, body and get jealous as time passes
>Think I have a crossdressing fetish and occasionally take her clothes to play dress up, but they are almost always too small besides panties
>Realize it's not a fetish and want to BE her
>Years go by, and we live together after our parents kick her out, we to move into a small apartment
>Watching movies on the couch and she sits on me
>Instant erection, she feels it and I want to kill myself
>She turns around and kisses me, and we make out
>We start fucking on the couch, taking advantage of her and being a disgusting person/brother
>Post nut clarity hits like a truck
>We keep doing it often
>I can't stop imagining her dressing me up like a cute maid and treating me like her little sister, not sexual just wanting to be a girl with her
>We talk about what we want and start dating. She calls me "Big bro" all the fucking time
>Mix of dysphoria and boner combined into the biggest mindfuck of all time

Is it bad I want to marry and be her all at once? I legit never even thought this as even a fantasy before, and now she keeps flirting with me, I can't escape her and she's both the best person I have in my life and the biggest source of dysphoria ever. I just want to die, every time we're close I feel better then bad right afterwards. I want to come out to her but I'm never going to pass, and she might not want to keep dating me, and I need her. I can't do anything to lose her, I really fucking need her.