>>509665912
" I've lost track of how many people I knew who've been killed – from my battalion, my brigade, my school, my neighborhood. I don't have the strength to hear about one more. It breaks me.
"They didn't even let me attend most of the funerals. They said we were needed – that they couldn't let everyone go. And the ones I did attend – they were awful. How can you sit there and listen to the battalion commander recite clichés about friends of mine he didn't even know, about fighters he never cared about?"
....
"And if that's not enough, now they're forcing us to do another four months of reserve duty. No one asks if we want to or if we even can. 'There's nothing we can do – we're short on soldiers,' the officers say. And if anyone complains, they threaten him with jail – call him a traitor, a coward. So most of us stay quiet. Sometimes we cry to our moms on the phone, or to a friend we feel safe with. But even that doesn't always help. It's just shit. I've had enough. I can't do it anymore.
"In high school I was sure that right after the army I'd take the psychometric exam and go study medicine – like I always dreamed. But now? I just want to run away. Travel. Rest. Do drugs. Forget. I don't know what will be left of me. I already know I'm not the same person I was – that's for sure."