oooo i have some to get off my chest

my boyfriend trading me for some blow. not because he wants to he loves me but we argued on the way over and i spent the cash he was going to use on groceries bcus i didnt know and i used most of his last bag and hes sick of my shit and even though he told me to do it he breaks up with me after bcus he cant stand to look at me anymore.

being forcefully dependent on someones whims for basic necessities like food and clothing and somewhere to sleep, and having it threatened everytime we argue or i dont do something like okay no food for three days for talking back to him and hes not going to buy that dress i wanted anymore.

i guess this is basic but pissing a guy off so much that he wants to kill me but cant touch me because we're in public & knowing exactly what he would do if we werent.

getting seriously hurt like getting run over or shot and being nursed back to health by someone over a period of like 6 months where i cant even leave the house or get out of bed and fall in love with them because theyre the only person in my world and they like me even though i bleed on them everytime they change my bandages.

falling in love with a guy who hates me and wants to see me suffer but knows that i love him and keeps me around bcus he finds it entertaining to make it difficult and painful.

bpd go brrrr