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6/19/2025, 3:29:40 AM
>>81537041
I used to, but the realization that I only had passions for the sake of others, getting validation from others, getting attention from people I cared about, that about kinda killed it for me.
Used to be pretty passionate about drawing and art when I was a kid, then came guitar, music, composition. Was pretty decent at it too. Drawing was the one thing that garnered positive attention from my parents and peers when I was a kid, same thing with the guitar. Other than that, I was an ugly, socially awkward kid with an speech impediment who couldnt talk more for 5 syllables before he started stuttering. That was my identity, that shy awkward kid who could barely speak, but drew well.
Nobody cares about an adult who can make a song or draw a picture, so the what I got out of it slowly dwindled as did the joy of creating in itself via diminishing returns, just because I had done it for so long. Just kept pushing that dopamine button. Stopped being exciting, stopped being life affirming, stopped being the source where I could create some sense of value, not only for me personally, but as a person as well.
I used to, but the realization that I only had passions for the sake of others, getting validation from others, getting attention from people I cared about, that about kinda killed it for me.
Used to be pretty passionate about drawing and art when I was a kid, then came guitar, music, composition. Was pretty decent at it too. Drawing was the one thing that garnered positive attention from my parents and peers when I was a kid, same thing with the guitar. Other than that, I was an ugly, socially awkward kid with an speech impediment who couldnt talk more for 5 syllables before he started stuttering. That was my identity, that shy awkward kid who could barely speak, but drew well.
Nobody cares about an adult who can make a song or draw a picture, so the what I got out of it slowly dwindled as did the joy of creating in itself via diminishing returns, just because I had done it for so long. Just kept pushing that dopamine button. Stopped being exciting, stopped being life affirming, stopped being the source where I could create some sense of value, not only for me personally, but as a person as well.
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