>>81837613
>Why would that help and why would I feel shame?
Because you're doing something embarrassing in front of the highest authority of your life (male psyche wise). They're the most important judge of your success/failure because all your values stem from them and they're the opposite sex making anything sexual automatically more embarrassing.

>Half the reason I get addicted to jerking off is because I despise my mother and it's an act of rebellion against her.
Rebelling is cringe you need to respect your mother period.

>>81837615
No if you truly respect your mother your goal should be to get a woman as great as her to make her proud and give her healthy grand kids.