The fact that I can't have a girlfriend destroys me.

Most men have gone through the same phase, for some it gets worse, while others find copes in waifus and entertainment or hobbies. The worst delude themselves and erase that part of themselves denying their identity.
I genuinely do not believe women are capable of love either. It's something men do, and the male writers of old have spread their fantasies in their stories. That is why we year for something fictional.

I realized young that the idealized relationship with other people is just that. An ideal.
Reality simply can not and does not provide it.