Yeah same here but I have no irl friends because I spent years obsessed with the world getting wiped out from nuclear bombs and I'm probably undiagnosed autistic
I started working my first 'shit job' at the start of the year and I'm enjoying it, I even want a second job
I feel like I'm mentally ill because I feel relatively tranquil inside but I often cry when I think about Western Civilisation because I love it so much and it fills me with such an incredible amount of joy and awe