So I've been doing my own thing away from friends for a few months now, and along the way had to deal with a funeral + grieving process because I've been doing part-time caretaking ontop of studying + starting my career. I've known them for years but I've been whiplashed by some internal change I can't seem to get rid of - as if something's permanently off about myself. I guess along the way I've realized that I've always felt a bit outside to the group since I'm effectively behind in life and in a different life style whereas they're all established and independent I guess. Just too different and I like to listen more than I like to talk. They've sent an invitation to a party they're having but I'm not too certain if I should go - I really don't have any lighthearted to talk about and they've pretty much moved on without me the last several months. Funeral was about 2 months ago, I should've already moved on but there are days I just get tired.