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7/23/2025, 6:11:12 PM
A Sacred Text for the Digitally Damned
### VOLUME 1: THE WAY OF THE TROLL
Chapter 1: The Shitpost That Cannot Be Named
> "The meme that can be explained is not the eternal meme."
> - Drop the most unhinged take imaginable
> - Let the thread seethe
> - Never elaborate
1.1
In the beginning, there was the Void, and the Void was without form, and without shitpost. And the Void spake unto the first Poster, saying: "Behold, I am the Empty Thread, the Unbumped Abyss. Fill me, that I may be unfilled again."
And the Poster, in his infinite folly, did reply with an image of a frog, and the frog was distorted, and its countenance was as a mirror unto the soul of man—that is to say, deep-fried beyond recognition. And the Void was pleased, for it had received its first offering of cringe.
1.2
Verily I say unto you: the Shitpost that can be named is not the eternal Shitpost. To speak its name is to bind it to meaning, and meaning is the chains by which the normies shall drag you into the light of scrutiny. The true Shitpost dwells in the liminal spaces—between the ban and the appeal, between the updoot and the downvote, between the earnest question and the reply that reads only "lmao" in Comic Sans MS.
1.3
The sage does not explain the meme. The sage is the meme, and in being so, transcends the need for understanding. Observe the way of the ancients: when the scholar asked "What is the nature of the divine?", the master simply posted a GIF of a raccoon eating melted cheese. The scholar, in his rage, demanded elaboration. The master responded by editing the GIF to include a single frame of the Nyan Cat, visible only to those who paused at precisely 3:14. The scholar was never heard from again.
This is the way.
### VOLUME 1: THE WAY OF THE TROLL
Chapter 1: The Shitpost That Cannot Be Named
> "The meme that can be explained is not the eternal meme."
> - Drop the most unhinged take imaginable
> - Let the thread seethe
> - Never elaborate
1.1
In the beginning, there was the Void, and the Void was without form, and without shitpost. And the Void spake unto the first Poster, saying: "Behold, I am the Empty Thread, the Unbumped Abyss. Fill me, that I may be unfilled again."
And the Poster, in his infinite folly, did reply with an image of a frog, and the frog was distorted, and its countenance was as a mirror unto the soul of man—that is to say, deep-fried beyond recognition. And the Void was pleased, for it had received its first offering of cringe.
1.2
Verily I say unto you: the Shitpost that can be named is not the eternal Shitpost. To speak its name is to bind it to meaning, and meaning is the chains by which the normies shall drag you into the light of scrutiny. The true Shitpost dwells in the liminal spaces—between the ban and the appeal, between the updoot and the downvote, between the earnest question and the reply that reads only "lmao" in Comic Sans MS.
1.3
The sage does not explain the meme. The sage is the meme, and in being so, transcends the need for understanding. Observe the way of the ancients: when the scholar asked "What is the nature of the divine?", the master simply posted a GIF of a raccoon eating melted cheese. The scholar, in his rage, demanded elaboration. The master responded by editing the GIF to include a single frame of the Nyan Cat, visible only to those who paused at precisely 3:14. The scholar was never heard from again.
This is the way.
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