>>511456155
And all of these years of study invariably lead you back to the same place you started in the first place. I know this because I was lost in it myself, and lost years of my life to this utter garbage. Christ tells you in a single Word what these systems take years of arduous study and changes of heart to.
The entire appeal is feeling like you know more than everyone else, that you're more special. None of us are special. No truth will ever be found in esoteric study that Christ has not already provided. The only thing left when you remove that is jewish diabolism that should have absolutely no place in anyone's heart.

I love Jesus Christ, my Lord, and He loves all of you too.
People don't become atheists and then start sinning, they start sinning and then become atheists because satan uses every opportunity to instill doubt and despair in us. Or people have an abusive experience with a Christian and unintentionally project this personal failing onto the entire Faith. Christ loves you and is always going to be here for you. Before praying for anything else, pray for God to help you open your heart to Him and it will happen.

I was a militant "satanist"/diabolist (along the lines of O9A/Tempel ov Blood/Black Order and such) for years, and it remains the single greatest regret and humiliation of my life. If God took someone as wretched and evil and disordered and cowardly as me back He will take anyone back, including you. All you have to do is ask, and then you can live in the comfort and security of your divine Father, free from the endless series of abstractions and absurdities that life invariably devolves into when you try to cut God out of your heart.