Using hindsight what would the ideal Gen 1 SMG be like?

>thompson style furniture and iron sights
>.25 ACP, 9mm, .45 ACP or .38 Super drum magazines because (can somehow magically transform from feeding from a side magazine well to a bottom one)
>hinged stock
>solid damacene plating with ivory and engraving of like i dunno elephants and pheasants and shit i dont fucking care some sort of exotic bird or large overrated animal
>somehow make the rate of fire slow as fuck
>gun should have a voice box built into the stock that talks with an old tymey radio voice
>fuck it some should be made out of bakelite furniture like an old bell telephone and blued/nickel plated steel with art noveau pinup whores behind a transparent cover like sweetheart grips
but for every non metal part of the stock

Dunno I'm drunk and don't really have a real point to this thread I just think that the Thompson, MP34, Reisling and American 180 were cool.

God I wish I lived in the 1920's.