I am horribly depressed. I feel like it's never going to get better, and that my life is a mistake. My parents pretty much are open that I was unplanned and they only married because I was born, and I feel as though they resent me for having autism and causing them to get marriage. I'm constantly afraid my friends are all going to abandon me and they secretly hate me. I don't talk to people much outside of work because I'm afraid I'll be used as a lolcow to bully like a previous friend group did. Antidepressants have stopped working for me and I am full of despair. I want to kill myself.