>>212053680
So two months into the relationship my girlfriend looks at me and she goes, "Why haven't you made a move yet" and I said "What?" and she goes "Why haven't you tried to fuck me yet??" so I go "well if you wanna go that way we can..." and she says "okay but we need some condoms." so I said "Alright well let me go hop on my minibike and I'll run up to the store and grab some." She goes "No, you're gonna go have your mom drive you up there and get some condoms." and that makes me kind of nervous, so (we're the kind of family that yells across the house to talk to each other) she goes in the house and yells to my mom, my mom goes "WHAT" and she goes "YOUR KID NEEDS SOME CONDOMS. WE'RE TRYING TO FUCK!" so my mom goes "ALRIGHT ILL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE AND WE CAN GO" So my mom drives me up to walgreens and I say "are you coming in" and she goes "Hell no! You're gonna take this money and go in by yourself and get some damn condoms." So I go in the store, and I didn't know there were so many different fuckin kinds of condoms. This old lady comes up and she asks "you having some fun tonight?" And I go "Yeah I need some condoms so me and my girlfriend can do it safely" and she says "Well what are you looking for?" And I say "I dont really know" And she started asking some pretty personal questions, which I had no problem answering ("how sized are you?"). Anywho I end up walking out with JUST THE RIGHT SIZED ribbed condoms. And when I got home, it was FIVE HOURS and a WHOLE BOX OF CONDOMS later when me and my girlfriend are sitting in a stew of love juices... Life juices. We look each other in the eyes and say "God damn, god must have stopped time for this." because so much time flew by, we didnt even realize. And that was the best fucking night of my god damn life.

So two months into the relationship my girlfriend looks at me and she goes, "Why havent you made a move yet" and I said "What?" and she goes "Why haven't you tried to fuck me yet??" so I go "well if you wanna go that way we can..." and she says "okay but we need some condoms." so I said "Alright well let me go hop on my minibike and I'll run up to the store and grab some." She goes "No, you're gonna go have your mom drive you up there and get some condoms." and that makes me kind of nervous, so (we're the kind of family that yells across the house to talk to each other) she goes in the house and yells to my mom, my mom goes "WHAT" and she goes "YOUR KID NEEDS SOME CONDOMS. WE'RE TRYING TO FUCK!" so my mom goes "ALRIGHT ILL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE AND WE CAN GO" So my mom drives me up to walgreens and I say "are you coming in" and she goes "Hell no! You're gonna take this money and go in by yourself and get some damn condoms." So I go in the store, and I didn't know there were so many different fuckin kinds of condoms. This old lady comes up and she asks "you having some fun tonight?" And I go "Yeah I need some condoms so me and my girlfriend can do it safely" and she says "Well what are you looking for?" And I say "I dont really know" And she started asking some pretty personal questions, which I had no problem answering ("how sized are you?"). Anywho I end up walking out with JUST THE RIGHT SIZED ribbed condoms. And when I got home, it was FIVE HOURS and a WHOLE BOX OF CONDOMS later when me and my girlfriend are sitting in a stew of love juices... Life juices. We look each other in the eyes and say "God damn, god must have stopped time for this." because so much time flew by, we didnt even realize. And that was the best fucking night of my god damn life.