why do i keep wanting to disappear from this discord group after a fight, even though i’ve chatted with them daily for 3+ years?

we play some games and talk, but it often feels distant — like i’m not talking to real friends, just characters on a screen messing around with each other.
maybe it means i shouldn’t be after these friendships, or maybe i’m just too soft to handle the jokes.
there’s this one guy who’s my complete opposite; i mostly tolerate him because everyone seems to respect him but he's so insufferable i can't even properly call him a friend, its the kind of people i would actively avoid if it was not for the group.