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7/24/2025, 9:19:50 AM
>>511177560
Time is a flat circle
>Be Gen X
>Searching latest keyword matches on Okcupid
>Get a match (90%+)
>Heart starts pounding as you navigate to inbox for a reply
>Stare at the blinking cursor
>Wait a bit for green light on her profile pic thumbnail to go away to type a message, so you seem assertive but not overeager
>Do a quick scan of her profile pictures
>Notice weeb shit in the background
>enhance...enhance...enhance....jpg
>Bingo
>Begin typing on keyboard
>”Hey, I like Stardust Crusaders too!”
>Hold your breath as you see the green light reappear
>”Oh totally” *profile goes offline*
>Goddamn it
>A bead of sweat rolls down you middle-click her profile picture into another tab
>Reread profile and remember "The game I can't stop playing" section
>Mirror's Edge
>You type a message, mass backspace, type another, mass backspace again while praying she just closed her browser for a sec
>”Definitely. Also - Mirror's Edge rules, I liked finding the janitor's rat”
>You end the message with "rats off to ya I guess", but quickly reconsider and delete it
>"I didn't see a rat"
>You feel your pooper contract and your p3n0r wither as you sense that you’re losing her
>Wait… you saw her holding a Starbucks cup!
>Begin typing a joke about a how they used to be in malls, but now they're within 10 miles of each other or less, think about when The Simpsons made this joke, and plan to segue into Simpsons chat
>Your body is now in full fight or flight mode
>Your perception of time is at a crawl as adrenaline screams through your veins
>Your finger slams the enter key as you near hyperventilation
>You nearly vomit as you see her profile no longers exists in the other tab after refreshing
>The events flash through your prefrontal cortex as your limbic system violently wrenches control from your amygdala, it buckles and warps under the strain of fighting to reconcile the trauma of what has just happened
>FISSION MAILED
Time is a flat circle
>Be Gen X
>Searching latest keyword matches on Okcupid
>Get a match (90%+)
>Heart starts pounding as you navigate to inbox for a reply
>Stare at the blinking cursor
>Wait a bit for green light on her profile pic thumbnail to go away to type a message, so you seem assertive but not overeager
>Do a quick scan of her profile pictures
>Notice weeb shit in the background
>enhance...enhance...enhance....jpg
>Bingo
>Begin typing on keyboard
>”Hey, I like Stardust Crusaders too!”
>Hold your breath as you see the green light reappear
>”Oh totally” *profile goes offline*
>Goddamn it
>A bead of sweat rolls down you middle-click her profile picture into another tab
>Reread profile and remember "The game I can't stop playing" section
>Mirror's Edge
>You type a message, mass backspace, type another, mass backspace again while praying she just closed her browser for a sec
>”Definitely. Also - Mirror's Edge rules, I liked finding the janitor's rat”
>You end the message with "rats off to ya I guess", but quickly reconsider and delete it
>"I didn't see a rat"
>You feel your pooper contract and your p3n0r wither as you sense that you’re losing her
>Wait… you saw her holding a Starbucks cup!
>Begin typing a joke about a how they used to be in malls, but now they're within 10 miles of each other or less, think about when The Simpsons made this joke, and plan to segue into Simpsons chat
>Your body is now in full fight or flight mode
>Your perception of time is at a crawl as adrenaline screams through your veins
>Your finger slams the enter key as you near hyperventilation
>You nearly vomit as you see her profile no longers exists in the other tab after refreshing
>The events flash through your prefrontal cortex as your limbic system violently wrenches control from your amygdala, it buckles and warps under the strain of fighting to reconcile the trauma of what has just happened
>FISSION MAILED
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